Lone Gunchick1: In The Beginning There Was Nothing
by XFileNumber25
Summary: The Lone Gunmen add a Lone Gunchick


TITLE: Lone Gunchick: Chapter One: In The Beginning There Was Nothing (1/?)  
AUTHOR: X_FileNumber25  
EMAIL ADDRESS: X_FileNumber25@yahoo.com  
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Archive anywhere, tell me where first. Keep all the chapters together, for the sake of them.  
SPOILER WARNING: Three Of A Kind, Unusual Suspects.  
RATING: PG-13 for this chapter, mild language  
CONTENT WARNING: SH  
CLASSIFICATION: The Lone Gunmen!!!!!!  
SUMMARY: The Lone Gunmen add a Lone Gunchick.  
DISCLAIMERS: The Lone Gunmen and their surroundings are all owned and operated by FOX and 1013 studios. Not even close to being mine or anybody else's. Little Black Book/Sterling Silver is the property of me, with a slight joint owning privileges to the e-mail group at Topica that helped me make it all happen, the nutty bunch of gals on The Lone Gunmen mailing list. This fic is out to all of you guys! "I'm Sorry" is owned and sang by The Platters.   
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The holiest of holy Lone Gunmen days was the night when First Person Shooter was aired. I was wandering around the 'net looking for spoilers and ran across tons of Gunmen stuff. It caused me to think, think of what would happen if the Lone Gunmen had a Lone Gunwoman? She would be pretty kick ass, getting them Gunmen in line.   
  
  
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Chapter One   
In The Beginning, There Was Nothing  
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The phone rang. Langly looked up lazily and rolled his chair over to the phone. He clicked on the tape recorder before picking up the phone.  
  
"Lone Gunmen." Langly said deadpan into the receiver.  
"Turn off the tape recorder, Langly." the hushed voice said on the other line.  
"Mulder?"  
"Do I sound like Mulder?"  
"No?"  
"Then turn off the recorder, Langly. Big Brother isn't listening in, I'm damn sure of it."  
"No dude, not unless you tell me who you are."  
"Do you always gotta do this? Look at the surveillance video." Langly rolled over to the surveillance video screen without thinking it over. There was a woman, no one who Langly had seen before. She looked up at the camera and waved. She had a cell phone in her hand, which she must be talking to Langly on.  
"Frohike, get over here and look at this cell phone." Langly shouted out to Frohike, who was in the kitchen making up tonight's feast. Frohike muttered, walking out of the kitchen and wiping his hands on his apron.  
"What is it Blondie?" Frohike said to Langly, testy that Langly dragged him out of the kitchen to look at a damn cell phone.  
"What type of cell phone is that?" Langly pointed at the screen at the cell phone cradled in the woman's left shoulder. Frohike looked closely at the screen.  
"It's a newer advanced Nokia. None that I've ever really seen. Is that all you needed to know? Dragging me out of the kitchen to look at a damn cell phone is enough to make me spike your food."   
"Ok, ok. Lay off the poison sting, dude. I just needed to know cause that chick said it was a secure line."  
"Does it look secure to you? Make your own decisions and don't knock in on Frohike cooking time!" Frohike stomped back into the kitchen. Byers' head popped out from behind a shelf.  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to bother Frohike on the times he needs quiet?" nagged Byers. Langly made a snitch face at Byers and rolled back over to the phone and clicked off the tape recorder.   
"What do you want?" asked Langly, still deadpan as Mulder at work.  
"I need to talk to the three of you." The woman whispered into the receiver.  
"Why?"  
"I got an offer."  
"On what? You can't make me go all out of my way to listen to your offer, I'm not that easy."  
"Is it wrong for someone to have a nice idea to offer to a group of office geeks?"  
"Hey! We're not office geeks! We're highly skilled professionals!"  
"Sure. Fine. Whatever you say."  
"Who are you anyway? Is Mulder making you play a trick on us?"  
"No. I'm one of you, I'm the Little Black Book." Langly gasped, the Little Black Book was the most recent hacker. Apparently "she" knew everything that went on in the entire world. No one knew her, only by her screen name.   
"Not THE Little Black Book? The best new hacker in the world?"  
"Bingo was his name-o."  
"HOLY SHIT!" With Langly's yell, Byers head popped out from a different shelf, while Frohike came out of the kitchen.  
"What is it Langly?" asked Frohike even more pissed off. Langly covered the receiver.  
"I have someone on the phone. The Little Black Book!" answered Langly. Frohike and Byers gasped.  
"Oh……. My……… God…………" uttered/gasped Byers. Langly took his hand off the receiver.  
"Want us to let you in?" asked Langly to the Little Black Book, with Frohike and Byers hanging on his words. Frohike snatched the phone from Langly.  
"Didn't mommy teach you not to let strangers into the home?" hissed Frohike.  
"Shut up old man! How many times does a widely known hacker shows up on our doorstep?" snapped Langly, snatching back the phone. Byers pushed the two apart, as he did from time to time.  
"So you gonna let me in? You gotta ask the other two stoogies first you know." replied the Little Black Book. Langly looked over at Byers and Frohike, they nodded lazily. Langly hung up the phone and unlocked all the locks. He opened the door to a clearer view of her.  
  
Langly could see her better now than on the surveillance tape. She had black sneakers on, with three white stripes down the sides, dark baggy jeans, a navy T-shirt on that had "Slacker" written in the Snickers logo, and she had no coat. She had a silver linked Fossil watch with a blue face on her right wrist, a silver ring on her right index finger which the front arched downwards with small diamonds in the three arch corners, another silver ring on her right pinky finger which had flowers and leaves etched out in the ring, and several stacked rings on her left middle finger. Her face was smooth, her eyes were the most radiant silver, her lips were so full, especially that bottom lip, her lips were the most reddish, and she wore no makeup at all, her hair was medium brown, cut in a pixie style.   
  
The Gunmen were just starting at her, they couldn't believe Little Black Book was so beautiful, and yet so deadly. They fell in love with her, they've never seen many women like her, and when they did, they always pushed the Gunmen away.   
  
"So are you gonna stop staring and let me in the office?" her voice snapped the Gunmen back to reality.  
"Uh, yeah. Sure, sure. Come in." mumbled Langly gesturing his hand out into the office. She looked around and took a seat on the dusty couch. She tucked her cell phone into one of her jeans pockets.  
"Thanks. I didn't know where much else to go. My real name is Sterling Silver. Not some stripper type of name." Silver smiled.  
"Why are you here?" asked Byers, taking a seat in one of the computer chairs.  
"I don't really know. I remember meeting one of your friends. Jimmy something. Some convention in Las Vegas last year. Sad that he got hit by a bus. Anyway he told me about you three, and gave em one of your newsletters. I feel partial to you guys because I've been hacking for a little while. I guess I would say that you guys are my inspiration."   
"We don't inspire people, lady. I don't know who you are, and how Jimmy the Geek got off telling you about us. What do you really need from us?" Frohike said as calm as possible to Silver.   
"I said I had nowhere else to go. All my friends snubbed me because they couldn't stand someone as smart as I into their homes and apartments. There's a place here, where I don't really have to worry about being overly smart. Of course you're brilliant, I know you are. I got that feeling." The Gunmen pitied her and excused themselves into their bedroom to discuss.  
  
"Jeez Langly, you think she should? She could threaten the little security of a group of guys. You can't leave your dirty laundry around anymore you know." said Byers to Langly's idea of letting her stay.  
"She wouldn't have anywhere to sleep." suggested Frohike.   
"We DO have a couch. And we'll be fine in our little room you know." suggested Langly. The three looked at each other for a second.  
"Fine." said Byers and Frohike. Langly nodded and they headed back to where Silver was sitting.   
"You can stay." Langly told Silver.  
"Thank you. I brought all my stuff. It's not much, but it gets me all over." smiled Silver again, thankful the Gunmen welcomed her in. She got up to go back outside and receive her stuff.  
"Sure. Want us to help you? We got a little corner at the end of the table where you could set up shop." offered Byers, being the polite gentleman he is.  
"Sure. I got a lot of crap anyway" Silver headed outside and the Gunmen looked at each other and headed behind her to help bring up her stuff.  
  
After the three large boxes was received from Silver's Dodge Stratus, the Gunmen sat back down and headed back to doing what they were doing as if Silver wasn't there. She proceeded to look around the office, plotting on what to clean up at night when the Gunmen slept. After getting her master plan up, she plopped down on the couch and took out her laptop and got to work herself.  
  
Silver ate dinner with the Gunmen like if she was already part of close knit group. Frohike complained that he slaved all afternoon over a hot stove to rustle up some BBQ country grub. The four of them swapped stories of their lives, whilst laughing over dinner. The Gunmen welcomed her heartily to their humble office abode. They rambled over rules and the norm, before shutting down and heading to bed.   
  
Silver checked her watch after the dinner, tour, and rules; it was a quarter after nine.  
"Going to bed early?" asked Silver to the guys, who were shutting down their equipment for the night.   
"Yep, we gotta get our new equipment up early in the morning. Some gnarly stuff, man." said Langly from behind his computer.  
"What kind of equipment?"  
"The ones over there. Big boxes sticking around like eyesores." Langly pointed over to a sack of fresh boxes, big eyesores like he said.  
"Alright, sleep tight. I'm gonna stay up and do some work, taking some notes, getting some money. It's almost the end of the month though."  
"What do you mean by 'end of the month?' It's not a girl thing isn't it? Cause we're not up for girl stuff."  
"It's a long story, tell you over work tomorrow."  
"Cool."  
  
After the Gunmen were in bed, Silver waited until 10:30 PM to start cracking on the equipment. It shouldn't have been hard; she saw the tracking orders on the wall as she came in. Minor line blocking and protecting equipment. The office was a huge mess of wires and equipment; Silver would pull an all nighter trying to sort it all. She had slept almost all day today, before she got ejected from her apartment for being a closet slacker.  
  
The Gunmen woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes. For an instant, they almost forgot that Silver was with them now. It was odd, the sudden change of heart the three of them had. It was definitely not normal of the Gunmen to do things like this, letting a stranger, better yet, a brilliant hacker, into their private office and living space.   
  
Langly, Byers, and Frohike walked out sleepily of their bedroom and was surprised with the neat computer and equipment, which was once scattered all over. Silver came out from the kitchen with cups of coffee in her hands.  
  
"Good morning, guys. Take a seat and have some breakfast. I'm not letting you go working without breakfast." said Silver as she set the cups of coffee on the table.   
"What did you do to our equipment? It was sorted i9n precise order, man." Langly whined as he sat down at the table.  
"I sorted it all up. You couldn't find a damn thing in there."  
"Are you sure you didn't MESS it up?" retorted Frohike from behind his steaming cup of coffee, which was fogging up his glasses.  
"Yes I'm sure. Little Black Book isn't that dumb you know. I used to work with tons of equipment before I started hacking. So don't worry about it. Everything will run better than it was before." Silver assured them as she sat down to eat breakfast. The Gunmen weren't so sure.   
  
The four of them discussed techniques on how to get in to various sites beyond other things after breakfast. Silver told them how she got by in life as being a great hacker.   
  
"I don't think of myself as a great hacker you know. I'm basically normal, you see. I try to lead a normal life while I know how to go places that most hackers can't. It's a gift, like how President Clinton lies so much all the time and tricking the unknowing public. I have my own ways to look unsuspicious. First of all, you know that end of the month thing I mentioned last night? It's how I hack money. I hack into a major bank, which has tons of transactions everyday. I take several rounded off dollars and cents from each transaction the bank makes every week. At the end of the month, it ends up in my bank account once every week, in parts as if I was putting in my paycheck from the week in the account. That way, nobody knows, nobody is hurt. It's like the virus in "Office Space" that those three friends put on the company they were working for as to say, "screw you!" for firing them. It's all child's play for me. More leaning over to the catch phrase, "Ya snooze, ya lose." That's the motto I get by. Hackers that end up hacking the crap out of stuff, end up getting caught. You gotta do many other things to get their attention off of you. It's how the government works, with their typing fingers up their asses. It's pretty simple if you think about it." Silver rambled on, typing away at a search engine for lyrics.  
  
The four of them were deep in their work while keeping chatter from behind their computer screens.   
  
"I never thought of it that way, sounds stellar." Langly mused.  
"Because your thumb is up your ass. You three haven't done much except for working on your newsletter, working with your equipment, programming, and hacking. Plus helping out Mulder and Scully from time to time. There's much more out there, which is why I haven't been caught. After such a short time of hacking and learning other things to keep the government off my trail, I've never been caught. How many people can say that? I'm youthful enough to preach my ways to other hackers, no matter if they're young or old. That's why I'm here."  
"What do you mean by why you're here? You're saying that we're not careful enough? We don't cover our tracks with search engines on lyrics? That's not much of a nice complement if you want it to be." Frohike muttered angrily.  
"No, I'm not saying you're not careful enough. I think you're doing a pretty good job at it. Better than I could have done before." Silver assured.  
"I better hope you're not here as an undercover CIA agent to bust our asses so we could rot in jail for the rest of our lives for being paranoid and knowing the secrets that the government tries to hide." Byers spouted off.  
"Oh now you're getting hostile! You didn't seem so hostile when you invited me in to work and live with you just yesterday under five minutes! You call that being careful? I'm here aren't I? You're gonna have to make the best of it, cause it'll be the best damn decision of your little pathetic lives!" Silver yelled while looking up from her screen. The Gunmen's heads snapped up in anger.  
"PATHETIC?! You're calling us pathetic?! You're the one who's pathetic by crank calling us up at night, prying Frohike from his hard work in the kitchen! We let you in on a hunch! We decided to do something different, and you throw it back in our face while being all little-miss-I-know-everything-in-the-damn-world-about-computers-and-I'll-sizzle-your-asses-like-a-strip-of-bacon-on-the-grill-in-the-fucking-morning-for-breakfast!" Langly yelled out in extreme anger and puffed for breath. Silver's eyes widened and her mouth hung open in shock.  
"I'm anything but." Silver whispered. Her left hand went up and flashed the Gunmen her ringed middle finger. She got out of her chair angrily and snatched her laptop from the couch. She unlocked all the locks and slammed the door shut as she left.  
"Good going Langly. You made her mad. You made the Little Black Book mad." said Frohike sarcastically.   
"ME?! What about you!? You made her mad too. Even you Byers. I just said what had to be said! You wanted to say what you had to say too!" said Langly angrily at Frohike's sarcastic words when Silver left.  
"Shut up, just shut the hell up!!!!!!!" Byers yelled, which caused Frohike and Langly to stop bickering. The three of them returned back to work, as Silver, her words, and their words lingered on their minds.  
  
Frohike absentmindedly got up and locked all the locks on the door and headed back to work.  
  
About an hour after Silver stormed out, the Gunmen's screens went black.   
  
"What the hell?" muttered Langly as he clacked escape route keys. Byers and Frohike said the same thing and types escape route keys too. Their screens flickered, then lyrics to one of The Platters' songs, "I'm Sorry" slowly ran across their screens as scrolling text.  
  
  
I'm sorry for the things I've done   
I know that I'm the foolish one   
Now that I see who's to blame   
I'm so ashamed, I'm sorry   
  
I'm sorry for the things I've said   
Just like a child I lost my head   
I should have known from the start   
I'd break your heart, I'm sorry   
  
Please be kind and I know you'll find   
It's so easy to forgive   
Darling, wait for its not too late   
Give our love a chance to live   
  
I know the heartaches you've been through   
I know for I've had heartaches, too   
There's nothing more I can do   
But say to you "I'm sorry"   
  
Please be kind and I know you'll find   
It's so easy to forgive   
Darling, wait for its not too late   
Give our love a chance to live, oh live   
  
I know the heartaches you've been through   
I know for I've had heartaches, too   
There's nothing more I can do but say to you----"I'm sorry"   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to barge in on your group and try to threaten your security. You have to give me time, and you'll grow to love me. I respect you for that. You picked the right chick, and I apologize for my actions. I'm sorry." Silver's voice said. A small display box popped up. It said: "Do you forgive me? Can I come back? I came to help you, not alienate you." Two choices appeared fading in, Yes and No.  
"Ingenious. Pure brilliance. There's nothing beyond creative comparing." Byers gasped, amazed. The Gunmen looked at each other then clicked on Yes. The choice box faded away and a message flashed on the screen: "Thank you. The postman always rings twice." After that message, their computer screens returned to normal like nothing ever happened.  
"Weirdness." Frohike mumbled.  
  
Several minutes later, the doorbell rang, twice. The Gunmen blinked in confusion. Frohike got up and looked at the surveillance video, there was a mail person, or what it seemed to look like one. Frohike remembered the message before their screens returned to normal, "The postman always rings twice." It was Silver at the door. He unlocked all the locks and threw the door open.  
  
"You're back. You came back!" Frohike said upon seeing Silver standing outside the door of the office. He flung his arms around her and gave her a hug. Byers and Langly got up and joined and Silver in a group hug.  
"I had to. Most of my stuff is here, and I missed you. You're sure showing the love even though we had our first fight." assured Silver.  
"We realized how much you were worth to us and yourself and we had to take you back. We need to learn new things, and we're open to your help." said Byers. Frohike and Langly nodded.  
"Aw. You're so sweet……" Silver cooed and kissed each of the Gunmen on their foreheads. The Gunmen blushed. Silver sat back down on the couch and the Gunmen returned to work.   
  
It's the way it's gonna be from now on, therefore the four of them declared it in their minds.  
  
FIN  
(1/?) 


End file.
